When Jan and I helped her mother pack up her NY City condo, we had 3 boxes:
1. Have to have
we were incredibly strict with this. ONLY put anything in there you are absolutely sure you can't live without
2. Not sure
3. Throw it out
(I know, you can't fit stuff in 3 boxes alone - it could be three 'areas' - the main thing is it's 3 categories)
I sat with June (Jan's mother) and strongly encouraged her, every time she wanted to put something in box 1, to put it in box 2 or 3.
The thing is, we weren't actually going to throw out things in box 3 - yet. We'd put everything in 3 boxes, and THEN look carefully and box 3. Just the ACT of putting it in box 3 - even if she was initially unsure - made her more likely to throw it out.
Another trick was to NOT LOOK at box 3, after all the boxes were filled up. Then put as much stuff from box 1 into box 2.
Then WAIT at least a day or two before LOOKING at box 3. Somehow, the attachment lessens during those days and June was more willing to throw stuff out.
It's all mind tricks but boy it made it SO much easier! I've used that approach in the 4 times we've moved since then:>)) (to a 400 sq ft wood shed in a 200 acre forest; to a 700 sq ft apartment in Greenville, then to a 1200 sq ft condo in greenville, and finally a 1200 sq ft condo in Asheville; each time we through out may many many boxes of stuff. Since moving here in 2010, we'e gotten rid of at least 15 carloads of stuff.
And I suspect, though we don't plan to move for about 5 years, each year we're going to get rid of a lot more.
It actually gets to be a sadhana challenge to see what we can let go of!!!
Don, I really like this, especially #2, Not Sure. I've got 1 and 3, but when I come across a "not sure" I just feel defeated. "Why can't I just decide?" So I love the idea of creating its own category, and leaving it for later, after I've had a chance to have it simmer on the creative "back burner".
you can make up any game you like. The idea is to get past the doubting mind as quickly and playfully as possible.
If you must, you could make TWO box #2s (remember, just multiply - you may need many boxes; I think I remember we always had 3 working boxes, large ones, then when they got filled up we took everything out and put them in some closet out of sight.)
you could also put the #1 and #3 boxes close to you , and the #2 box farther away so you have to get up and walk over to it - whatever! (or put something smelly in box #2 - who knows!!!!
And now that I'm further into the process, having moved most of the large furniture [thank you Mark!!!], I'm touching down into a deep terror, something I've experienced several times in my life when I've come into a situation that brings me a sense of overwhelm. And in this case, looking around the new apartment with most of my furniture from the old place, and knowing there's still a lot more to come... "What am I going to do? How to choose what to get rid of/give away/throw away? How can I do without it?"
And this morning, it came to me that a large piece of this deep fear comes from the fact that I've invested my "stuff" with pieces of my identity - that chair, that bookcase, that table; who am I without any one of them? It's a subtle feeling, but a very real one that underlies much of the anxiety on the surface.
And yes, I know, we can all point to people whose identity is bound up in their material possessions. What was that meme from the 1980's? "He who dies with the most toys wins." But it's different to point it out about someone else, it's another thing to deeply identify it in yourself!
What a wonderful cleansing and renewing process! Wishing you great health and many blessings in your new home. Can't wait to see it! Maybe next year!
When Jan and I helped her mother pack up her NY City condo, we had 3 boxes:
1. Have to have
we were incredibly strict with this. ONLY put anything in there you are absolutely sure you can't live without
2. Not sure
3. Throw it out
(I know, you can't fit stuff in 3 boxes alone - it could be three 'areas' - the main thing is it's 3 categories)
I sat with June (Jan's mother) and strongly encouraged her, every time she wanted to put something in box 1, to put it in box 2 or 3.
The thing is, we weren't actually going to throw out things in box 3 - yet. We'd put everything in 3 boxes, and THEN look carefully and box 3. Just the ACT of putting it in box 3 - even if she was initially unsure - made her more likely to throw it out.
Another trick was to NOT LOOK at box 3, after all the boxes were filled up. Then put as much stuff from box 1 into box 2.
Then WAIT at least a day or two before LOOKING at box 3. Somehow, the attachment lessens during those days and June was more willing to throw stuff out.
It's all mind tricks but boy it made it SO much easier! I've used that approach in the 4 times we've moved since then:>)) (to a 400 sq ft wood shed in a 200 acre forest; to a 700 sq ft apartment in Greenville, then to a 1200 sq ft condo in greenville, and finally a 1200 sq ft condo in Asheville; each time we through out may many many boxes of stuff. Since moving here in 2010, we'e gotten rid of at least 15 carloads of stuff.
And I suspect, though we don't plan to move for about 5 years, each year we're going to get rid of a lot more.
It actually gets to be a sadhana challenge to see what we can let go of!!!
Don, I really like this, especially #2, Not Sure. I've got 1 and 3, but when I come across a "not sure" I just feel defeated. "Why can't I just decide?" So I love the idea of creating its own category, and leaving it for later, after I've had a chance to have it simmer on the creative "back burner".
you can make up any game you like. The idea is to get past the doubting mind as quickly and playfully as possible.
If you must, you could make TWO box #2s (remember, just multiply - you may need many boxes; I think I remember we always had 3 working boxes, large ones, then when they got filled up we took everything out and put them in some closet out of sight.)
you could also put the #1 and #3 boxes close to you , and the #2 box farther away so you have to get up and walk over to it - whatever! (or put something smelly in box #2 - who knows!!!!
And now that I'm further into the process, having moved most of the large furniture [thank you Mark!!!], I'm touching down into a deep terror, something I've experienced several times in my life when I've come into a situation that brings me a sense of overwhelm. And in this case, looking around the new apartment with most of my furniture from the old place, and knowing there's still a lot more to come... "What am I going to do? How to choose what to get rid of/give away/throw away? How can I do without it?"
And this morning, it came to me that a large piece of this deep fear comes from the fact that I've invested my "stuff" with pieces of my identity - that chair, that bookcase, that table; who am I without any one of them? It's a subtle feeling, but a very real one that underlies much of the anxiety on the surface.
And yes, I know, we can all point to people whose identity is bound up in their material possessions. What was that meme from the 1980's? "He who dies with the most toys wins." But it's different to point it out about someone else, it's another thing to deeply identify it in yourself!